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McLaren Mp4-12C Road Test

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When I got into the cockpit of the McLaren MP4-12C, I was suffering from a terrible sinus head-ache. It was turning winter, the air in Jozi was dry, and it was just something I lived with.

When I got out of the car, I didn’t have a sinus headache anymore. R4-million, but there’s no denying the results.

This should give you just a small idea of the brutal acceleration you’ll experience in this car. Remember when you were 16 and you took your first drag of a cigarette, the head-rush that kept you coming back for more. Identical experience here only this won’t give you cancer, it’ll straight up kill you if you get it wrong.

Happy “but” here. It’s implausibly hard to actually get it wrong in this car. So much so that it’s a criticism Pedro from Daytona is happy to share with me “people say this car is actually too perfect”.

The McLaren MP4-12C is the first production car from the British car manufacturer since the mesmerizing F1 set records in 1992. That’s almost 20 years without so much as a facelift, and this time around, instead of relying on the Germans at Mercedes to do it for them, the McLaren team hosted an all-British tea party and did it themselves.


The kudos would be showered on the Brits outright, but you must bear in mind that McLaren have one of the most successful Formula 1 teams ever. Some of that tech has been squeeze into this long awaited supercar to make it more exclusive and sought after. The inclusion of “brake steer” for example, tech which slows the inside/turning rear tire to reduce understeer when cornering hard.

Driving this car can actually be simulated by heading around a go-kart track on a Sunday morning with your buddies. Of course you won’t experience the speed or the longing looks from everyone you pass on the road, but my example is a lot more accessible.

The car is only 1.2m high when the gullwing doors are closed, so you can just picture your ass getting torn up the tar as you break laws on our nation’s highways. It’s this low center of gravity as well as the ProActive Chassis Control that make this car so easy to handle. The steering is actually quite heavy to the touch, but that’s mostly down to the thick tires you’re being carried around on. Once you’re at speed and actually driving, the steering is so responsive you have moments of nerves between lane changes.

When it comes to changing lanes, there is always the blind spot to think of in a coupe-like car such as the McLaren. And there pretty much isn’t one here. Of course you’ve got more than enough power to take on anyone coming up from behind you, but there is always that split-second of “did I check right before I moved?”


You would imagine driving a supercar to be a quite frightful experience. But in the McLaren, it isn’t at all. Sure there are moments of fear as you hit 220km/h through Woodmead, but robot-hopping in Sandton, even as you put-foot to get to that robot in time, just isn’t that scary. In fact the thing you’re worried about the majority of the time is scratching the body-paint, not totaling the car.

“It’s a car you can drive everyday” I’m told, “the kind of car you can really own and drive.” And they’re not lying. The drive of the car is far from uncomfortable; in fact, I’ve driven some hatchbacks that don’t take bumps as well. Inside they’ve gone for minimalism while still giving you most of the essentials you’ll need day-in and day-out, like a radio with a touchscreen control, and air-conditioner and the world’s smallest sun-visors. So minimal is the inside of the car in fact, that the unboxing video I did took all of 55 seconds.

So you’ve got a car you can (if you want) drive every day. But you’re not buying a McLaren for its convenience, you want to know about the performance.


In the corners this car is great, and I look forward to the track day they’ve promised us they’ll put together so we can really put it through its paces. But even at average speed, this car handles brilliantly. As I said above, the low-center of gravity makes it handle like a go-kart, and couple that in with the almost 50/50 weight distribution and the F1 inspired “brake steer” and you have a car that if anything will oversteer, and when that happens you rub yourself out of the corner with a bit of extra speed.

Get yourself a patch of open highway, and you’ll see the true meaning of McLaren. The acceleration in the MP4-12C (crap name, we all agree) comes almost immediately thanks to the twin-turbo set up. There’s no waiting around or anticipating like in a Ferrari. It’s just there and it’s efficient. You stick your foot into the floor board, grip your hands to the steering wheel and duck your head into your shoulders to avoid any whiplash. Soon you’ve run out of road, the back of your head is a bloody mess and your eyes are trying to find their way back to the front of your face.


Speed is addictive and we all love to go places quickly (well in Jozi we do anyway) but frankly the McLaren failed to scare me too much. Let me tell you what I mean.

My first car: a Toyota Corolla 1600. One of those box shaped ones. The perfect car to be handed down at age 17. “Off you go, crash it if you must but just learn to drive” my Dad said.

At 110km/h on the M1 to Pretoria that car became that house you always see getting lifted up into the eye of a tornado. The seats slid back at least 5-inches, the windows rolled down if they were up and if they were down the back windshield flew out, the radio just stopped working altogether and the engine started poking its head out of the bonnet.

Terrifying, yes. But at the same time, you knew you were pushing the limits of a machine, you knew you were tempting fate, you knew that you were glad you didn’t have any dependents and didn’t need an up to date will. You knew what it felt like to drive a stock car in the 50’s.

With the McLaren, you kind of hoped that they had created something that would let you feel what it’s like to drive a Formula 1 car. F1 drivers are after all the fittest athletes on the planet and their bodies can take up to 6 Gs and yada yada whatever else your mate said to you in the bar last week.

The McLaren isn’t like that though. It’s really calm and easy to drive inside. The seats are comfortable and the Meridian audio system is good enough for you to play your favorite song at full tilt. In all it’s a driver’s car, not a racing driver’s car.


As with any car capable of 130km/h or more, what’s the point though? Sure I get why we have speed limits, but spending this amount of cash on a car you can only ever drive sensibly is a complete waste of resources. I take the same stance with this car as I did with the Mini Roadster, a car made with a track in mind: take it out, as often as you can to a racetrack and remind yourself why you work so hard for your money (with apologies to the Grillhouse in Sandton).

SPECS
Engine – 3.8-litre V8 Twin Turbo
Redline – 8 500rpm
Power – 441kw and 600Nm
Top speed – 33-km/h
0-100 – 3.3 seconds
0-200 – 9.1 seconds
Consumption – 11.7L/100km
Cost – R4-million

Models get white stuff all over their face in new Scion Ad

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Scion came up with a great idea to virally market their new iQ to the public. “Let’s ruin 4 of them”, marketers said.

So they took models, bikers, pigs (sic cops) and dudes, threw them into the car which was wired with some cameras and did donuts in a donut shop parking lot. The ruining came in when they gave each group some donuts and milk to drink while the spinning went on.

Watch the fun below.

The campaign only lasted about a week before some prude on Youtube called the “babes” clip sleazy and Scion, probably in fear of having their brand associated with something sleazy, pulled the ad.

No complaints yet about the other 3 ads in the campaign. Except the dudes one. Everyone is complaining about it not flipping over and bursting into a ball of flames.

 

Heroin (the good kind) 4 the masses: New Toyota Etios

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Remember sometime in the late 19th century and early 20th, there existed a car called the Toyota Tazz?

It was far from aspirational, and it was (and this is the truth) named after a flippant comment by one of the bosses in charge at the time.
A product that should’ve been a harder sell than convincing a lawyer to do pro bono work. And yet it wasn’t.

The Toyota Tazz was more popular than heroine in San Francisco, and for the same reasons too: it was cheap and it got the job done.

When Toyota took it off the market in 2006, they were also removing from the public market one of their most popular sellers. But now it’s back, and the first words out of Toyota’s mouth on the launch were “this is a volume car. We’re going to sell a lot them”

And they are.

OK, so it’s not entirely a Toyota Tazz, but you get the idea. Firstly it’s called an Etios, and looks a lot more modern, and it comes in both a sedan version and a hatch.

Toyota aren’t just throwing another one of their hats into the ever-engorging Sub-B segment car market, they’re also throwing a very cheap, very spacious and very quick car.

The Etios take top honours in the first two categories, and boasts 7 bottle holders and a 13-litre cubby-hole in the front.
As for the newly developed 1.5-litre, 66kw petrol engine, let’s just say that parents will sleep well at night knowing their kids can’t hit too high a speed while the kids at least won’t have to hide their heads at a robot drag-race.

Tech specs are impressive considering. 0-100 in 11.3 seconds and top speed of 165km/h. Consumption is also impressive, but then it should be, right? 5.9-6 L/100km.

Not much else to say really, except for the negatives. The steering is incredibly light on the Etios. Welcome on a trip down to the shops, but on a roadtrip, see if dad will lend you the Merc for the weekend.

The ride also isn’t tremendously comfortable, nor the interior well made or premium-looking. They’ve place the speedo in the centre of the dash, making it cheaper and easier to convert to a left-hand drive when the market demands it for example.
But when you consider what you’re paying for it, are you really that surprised.

They’re going to sell thousands of these.

Etios 1.5 HB Xi            –           R115 800;

Etios 1.5 HB Xs           –           R120 900;

Etios 1.5 SD Xi            –           R121 800;

Etios 1.5 SD Xs           –           R126 600.

Audi A1 Sportback FIRST DRIVE

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It’s been quite a long time since I enjoyed driving a new car as much as I enjoyed driving the new Audi A1 Sportback.

Obviously the first thing you’re going to say is: “But that’s not an A1. It has 4 doors. It must be some sort of new-fangled custom A3 or something. Who let the Boksburger in? They carry knives y’know?!?”

You, however, would be wrong.

This is the new Audi A1 Sportback, which means it has two extra doors for some of your gangsta hoody mates to get in, and, actually, that’s about all it has.

No I’m serious. That’s it. There’s basically nothing else to set this model apart from the original two-door Audi A1.

Both models have the same length: 3.95m
The boot is the same size: 270 litres
Both models have all the same model ranges available in the 3-door: a 63kw 1.2-litre TFSi; a 77kw 1.6-litre TDi; a 90kw 1.4-litre TFSi and a 136kw 1.4-litre TFSi
Both models have all the amenities, gadgets and comforts you’ve become accustomed to on the inside of any Audi

One wonders why Audi even bothered?

Until you drive it.

Firstly, this car matures the hell out of the bratty, little A1 3-door. It gives you 2 extra doors with accompanying backseat to go with them, and these aren’t just “implied” seats either. Those who don’t call “shotgun” in time will get to enjoy 11mm more headroom and 6mm more elbow room in the back.

Secondly, and more philosophically, this car gives very young people with rich parents the opportunity to buy into a premium compact hatch at a price less than the one-up A3. Car manufacturers call that “planning for the future”.

Audi assure me this isn’t a car that’s going to put sales of the mighty A3 at risk either. They call the A1 Sportback a “conquer car” as it’s aimed at getting new customers into the Audi lifestyle, not at offering them a new, cheaper option to a more expensive car.

By adding two doors to the back, Audi have also without knowing it created one of the most comfortable and well balanced cars for in town driving and especially on autobahn country roads (cops don’t trap as far out as Lanseria, right?).

I got into the Sportback in fear that I’d feel the same way I did about the Mini Countryman when I drove that: underwhelmed and disappointed in a loss of performance.

2 Audi designers…one for each new door!

In the Sportback though, while you might lose out on performance, it’s replaced by the brilliance of travelling comfortably at whatever speed you want (without cruise control obvs) just by keeping your foot where it is. Smoother than slipping it past the goalie on Sunday morning.

If asked, I would have to suggest going for the 90kw. No! I haven’t lost my mind. It really is enough power for a person living in a city like Jo’burg. The 63kw will probably just frustrate you, and the 136kw will get you locked up for the weekend. And the judge really does only come in again on Monday.

63kW 1.2T FSI Attraction manual – R227 400
90kW 1.4T FSI Attraction manual – R242 500
90kW 1.4T FSI Attraction S tronic – R260 000
90kW 1.4T FSI Ambition manual – R260 500
90kW 1.4T FSI Ambition S tronic – R278 000
136kW 1.4T FSI S line S tronic – R319 500
77kW 1.6 TDI Ambition manual – R254 500

Audi S5 ROAD TEST

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Walter de Silva, de man (who got that?) who designed this car for Audi, once called this “the most beautiful car I have designed”. Hard to disagree with him, isn’t it? This things bloody gorgeous!

The sensible man's Audi

The Audi S5 is a car that comes with one big problem though: you have to keep repositioning your perspective when you drive it. What I mean is, you must always bear in mind that there’s an A5 badge below it, and an RS5 badge above it. This means that the S5 is neither normal, nor exceptional.

Driving the car, I had to constantly remind myself that I wasn’t in the seat of the RS5, one of the fastest and best performing Audi’s (and cars) I’ve ever driven. Thus the acceleration and performance isn’t blinding, but is rather “pretty impressive”.

This is also one of those cars that you’re never going to be uncertain of which mode you’re in. Audi Drive Select lets you choose from 3 driving modes and one individual mode from the 3-litre TFSI engine. Each mode does something dramatic to the steering, suspension and accelerator. More dramatic than in most other cars I mean, and for once it’s nice to feel the dramatic difference, rather than have it just suggested to you.


When in Dynamic for example, the steering tightens up to the point of trying to move your mother-in-law out of the way at Sunday lunch buffet. The weight probably wouldn’t be so noticeable if there was more speed to go with it, but remember, you’re buying the sensible man’s performance Audi 5.

Speaking of sensible, Audi have gone long on making the S5 as efficient as possible. Start/Stop included and 9.4L/100km. That’s nice and progressive.

Inside, it’s a very comfortable little Coupe. Two seats in the back which you probably won’t use much, but they’re there. Also worth mentioning is the quite generous boot room. You’ve got to fit your golf clubs somewhere.

At R600 000+ you’d expect some creature comforts, and you get them. Some extremely comfy leather seats, dual-climate control, a sunroof and a multifunction steering wheel. You can even get some carbon-fibre trim on the doors if you want. Don’t you judge me. There’s something about having an exclusively expensive material on just a few inches of a car that make the car better LOL

A few problems inside…

Inside though there are also a couple of irritations to note:

Music track changing cannot be accomplished via the steering wheel. For that you have to go down to the volume knob by your left thigh. Granted I am a bit young for the demographic Audi is after with the S5 Coupe, so music is still important to me. If you’re like me, you change tracks more often than you change gears.

Most iterations of performance cars come with a button that you push to unleash the fury! Not so in the S5. Getting to Dynamic or “Bonkers” mode means fiddling with the MMI system. Two button pushes and a knob turn to be precise.

Controlling the fan speed on the AC is also one step too many in the S5. Small niggles, but noticeable.

In short, this really is a decent car, and one that turns heads on the roads (not easily accomplished in 2012). But just be aware of the experience you’re buying with the new S5.

Engine: 3-litre V8
Output: 245kw and 440Nm
Drive: Quattro
0-100: 5.4 seconds
Top speed: 250km/h

Taking out a BMW M5…literally!

M5

I’m entering hour two in the front of the 2012 BMW M5 and a more welcoming environment you’re not likely to find on the surprisingly quiet highway between George and Port Elizabeth. Made even more welcoming considering it’s raining outside with more vigour than a puppy attacking the morning edition of the Star.

Speaking of the Star, my co-driver, Jesse who writes for it, and I have the luxury of the 2012 BMW M5’s cabin to keep us dry and warm and the constant din of a 4.4-litre V8 German engine dishing out a max output of 412 kW and 680 Nm to keep us entertained.

It won’t be long now before we’re turning a lap of the Aldo Scribante race track in a BMW M3 only to be told that the BMW M5 that left just 20 seconds before us hasn’t come back yet, did we see it?

It’s the last day of the launch of the new BMW M5, and all week journalists have been putting this super-machine through its paces on the Port Elizabeth track. Luckily for us, it’s been raining incessantly since day 1, and we’re on the last day of the launch, with no end of the monsoon in sight.


We’ve finished lunch before Edward (the marketing meneer from BMW) and the other two journos with us on the launch and Jesse and I have snuck out so he can have a quick puff before the second session of laps in the M5 start.

A lull in the conversation (there’s only so much two motoring journalists who have just met have in common). And we find ourselves staring down the pit lane, not at the two M5’s parked a few feet away, but instead at a lone M3 that’s come along as a workhorse for the day.

As if we gave each other the idea, Jesse and I exchange a mischievous glare and he turns to me and says “Bru, how sick is that M3?” I smile and push his thoughts to the obvious conclusion, “Screw that bru. How sick would it be to take that M3 around this track right now, in this rain?”


We turn to Edward and ask him hopefully what he would say if we asked for his blessing.

He thinks a minute and both Jesse and I know what that means, it’s a “no” (it’s a PR thing, they don’t want to disappoint the journos, but they also have to bear in mind that they’re the ones responsible for the cars that we’re driving around the track at 200km/h).

We give up on it and start turning towards the M5s again. Life’s a bitch, hey?

Before we can make our peace with this bit of bad news, Edward pops his Coke can open, takes a sip and says instead, “Sure, why not? It’s the last day, go for it” (At this stage it was in fact the last few laps of the launch, not just the last day).

Fast forward 3 minutes and 23 seconds, and Jesse and I are nestled in the cockpit of the M3, completing his second lap. The M5 is sublime and quick and scientifically impossible to explain, but there’s something to be said about the M3 in its natural habitat. It’s much lighter, far less work, a lot more accepting and therefore much more fun to take around the Scribante track. Whenever I do stuff like this, I keep telling myself that driving these speeds should be illegal, and there’s a damn good reason it is.

We pull into the pits for the driver change. My chance to take the most exciting sedan money can buy out on one of SA’s most exciting tracks at whatever speed I can muster in this relentless London weather. The M5 being the second most exciting.


We’re in. At all times second in line to one of the other two journos currently not making the M5 feel left out. It’s them, and then 20 seconds later, it’s us on to the closed circuit race track. (They’ve closed the circuit just at the start of the pit lane so we’re forced to pull the cars into the pits after each lap. Besides ensuring that we don’t overheat the car’s tyres and engine too much, this also serves the function of pulling the plug on us from enjoying the full joy of the longest straight on the track. Unfair, but a damn good idea on BMW’s part.)

So we watch the white BMW M5 take off with Ciro from Overdrive TV behind the wheel. He’s on his own and he’s been pushing it hard since doing a few laps with my partner Jesse and picking up a few tips. One tip too few, as it turns out.

20 seconds. And it’s a go, my first lap in the M3.

What a sublime car. Made selfishly for the track. In fact, if you know a mate who owns one and doesn’t take it to the track to stretch its legs at least as often as he walks his dog, you’re entitled, nah, duty bound to steal it when he isn’t looking and take it there yourself.

Obviously we see little else than the tarmac ahead of us and the occasional clipping cone as I complete my first lap.


“I can do better”, I say to Jesse as we pull in to the pits for my second lap. And Jesse knows a thing or two about speed, so I’m feeling the pressure. Not half as much as Ciro is in the M5 as it turns out.

“Did you see the white car (the M5)?” says Danie as we halt in the pits. Quizzically Jesse and I look at each other and then turn to Danie and say “What? Isn’t it back yet? It should be, it left before us”

Danie gives us a “no-shit-Sherlock” look and trots off to find an empty car with an engine that’s running. We quickly offer up the M3. Everybody here has done this before and we know what it means…the M5 has gone off the track.

Have you ever been in a business meeting when one of the guys gets a call to tell him that his wife has been in accident, she’s ok but is on her way to the hospital? That’s is the only equivalent scenario I can think of to adequately explain to you the level of “uncomfortable” we are all now feeling standing next to Edward as we wait to hear if they’ve found the AWOL M5 and what sort of nick it’s in.

The seconds are excruciating! Where is it?

Finally the M3 comes into sight and pulls into the pits with Ciro in the passenger seat. The M5 is definitely not ok, now we know for sure.


As Ciro gets out of the car the first thing Edward says is “Are you ok?”
The first thing Edward wants to say is “You dumb shit! What have you done to my one million rand car?”, but the first thing he says is “are you ok?”

“Nothing’s hurt but my pride” says Ciro. And the front grill of the M5 and some of Aldo Scribante’s best tyre wall and the grass just off the big s-turn of the track and our chances of doing any more laps that day.

The same story we’ve heard a thousand times before. With each lap Ciro got braver and braver until the tricky wiggle got the better of him. Still, the car could’ve been in worse shape, and us journalists couldn’t pay money to see how a BMW M5 behaves in an accident, we got this one for free.

Not to mention that we all got a great story to tell at future car launches too. And if Ciro ever forgets the details, one of the hordes of motoring journalists who heard about the accident on Twitter before we could even leave the track that day will be more than happy to remind him.

Mini Roadster 2012 REVIEW

Mini Roadster

First things first, if you’re a die-hard Mini fanboy or fangirl, then you might as well go back to playing Draw Something on your iPhone while you sip your Vida e Cafe coffee. No logical point that I make below will dissuade you from believing that a Mini Roadster is the best car on South African roads.

You wants a Mini
You needs a Mini
You’ll have a Mini

For the rest of you, read on.

The Mini Roadster comes into the Mini family based on the previous coupe, but with a slightly different roof-line and few other changes. There are three engine options, no real surprises from the 1.6-litre engines in all: Cooper at 90kw, Cooper S at 135kw and the JCW beast at 155kw.

That’s true speed in a really short-wheelbase, low-slung coupe. After the whole Countryman debacle, I must say that it was really, really nice to be driving a Mini that handles like the original go-kart again. What a dangerous amount of fun dependent on your power.
As with any convertible that I’ve ever driven, my main complaint is the uncomfortable drive. While the Mini roadster isn’t the most uncomfortable I’ve ever driven, my kidneys did take a bit of a pounding. Nothing you can do really.

The receding roof is the party-piece of the Mini roadster, it’s manual and semi-automatic neither of which got much of a workout from me. Sorry, but there’s nothing more pretentious than driving around in Jozi in a convertible car. Cape Town, different story but Jozi…you’re removing the word “smash” from smash-and-grab, idiot.


The big safety question in a convertible is what’s the damage to your road visibility, and in the Mini Roadster it’s bad but not visible if that makes sense. You’ve definitely got some blind-spot blindness, but this car is so small and manageable that you kind of just corner and lane-change on assumption alone. There’s also the reverse camera sensor to be absolutely certain. Just don’t be a dumbass and you’ll be fine.

When the roof is down, there’s also a tiny bit of wind noise, but you’re pumping Goldfish through the Bluetooth audio, so scratch that.

It was a task to get a longing stare from the hottie I pulled up to at the corner of Grayston and Rivonia. Girls don’t look at you in the Mini Roadster to see how hot you are, they only look at you to see how gay you are. Really sad actually since this car, the JCW in particular, is such fun to drive and deserving of some respect.

Nothing much to report on from the inside either. The same old Mini with its centre-mounted speedo, button-equipped steering wheel, LCD display and window controls that resemble movie-scene helicopter nobs.


The Mini Roadster is not cheap, but what Mini is. But I do have some thoughts on what you get for what you pay.

There’s a R16 100 bump up between the manual and automatic Cooper and Cooper S models. Understandable, but the automatic features only BMW’s Steptronic system, no triggers behind the steering wheel for shifting.

And on the fiery JCW, there’s only a manual version, no Steptronic. The exact seating position you want more power control and quicker shifting is in the front seat of a JCW Mini Roadster with 155kw underneath your right toe.

The Audi A1′s S-Tronic system has triggers…doesn’t it? #justsaying

So here’s the problem for the guys reading: the Mini Roadster is an awesome ride, has phenomenal power (in the 155kw version anyway) and is super fun to drive. But owning and driving one will make everyone question your manhood more than they would if you drove the original Cooper model. Sorry but a man having just two-seats in a car that’s not a Porsche means he’s spent his money unwisely.

Don’t stress, I have a solution: your girlfriend buys the car. She doesn’t drive it to its potential because, let’s be honest, she’s smarter than you are. You get to drive it almost whenever you want, you get to tell people it’s your girlfriend which means not only are you not gay but you’re desirable enough to procreate with. Your manhood remains intact and in fact is better for the experience because cornering in this car will take you all the way back to your boy’s only 12th birthday party at the Zwartkops go-kart track and all the fun you had with your friends on that day.

Do it.

SPECS
Cooper – R295 000 – R311 100
Ouput – 90kw and 160Nm
Top speed – 199km/h
Acceleration – 9.2 seconds
Consumption – 6.1l/100km

Cooper S – R349 000 – R365 100
Output – 135kw and 240Nm
Top speed – 227km/h
Acceleration – 7 seconds
Consumption – 6.4l/100km

JCW – R397 000
Output – 155kw and 260Nm
Top speed – 237km/h
Acceleration – 6.5 seconds
Consumption – 7.3l/100km

THE MINI AD

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